you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You brought string cheese to the strip club
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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