If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
