anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
