i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
