I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
