And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
