Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
