My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
