i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
even my farts smell like vagina
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
