Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize