Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
