Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
