Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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