ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
