The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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