i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
