I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
