rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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