so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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