No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We need a shit load of segways right now
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
