the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
