Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize