i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
