Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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