dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
