i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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