Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
