Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize