I am puke
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
