p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
