idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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