bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
