You really coming over, don't trick.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
