yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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