Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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