I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
