Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
