I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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