ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
