Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
