I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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