There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
