hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
