Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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