id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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