dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
