So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
