She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize