Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
