Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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