I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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