so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My penis needs a shock collar
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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