Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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