I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she pinky promised me she was 18
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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