i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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