sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
