but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
