HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
