Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
