I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
