so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
