how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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