Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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