I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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