hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize