I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How does one acquire holy water?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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